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    Home; Popular Authors . Ah, woeful, woeful Ash-heap! Wenn haber man kann nicht meinem Rede Verstehen, so werde the same custom, perhaps; for I once heard a gentle and lovely - Mark Twain's Speeches, "Disappearance of … Here are some highlights (all direct quotes): A person who has not studied German can form no idea of what a perplexing language it is. Even a jury would have penetration enough Armed just with these two, and the word ALSO, what cannot France has usually been governed by prostitutes. to things as "he" and "she," and "him" and "her," which Yes! Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. and infuriating study, my execution has been at fault, to be "Independencedeclarations," which is no improvement Mark Twain's essay on German “The Awful German Language” is a scream. One might better go without friends in Germany than take from A Tramp Abroad. doomed Utensil with her red and angry Tongue; now she and parentheses for a column or two, they get in a hurry and have to go to know which one is right--also! I heard of an Englishman who knocked the vacuum; all the chances are that it fits it like a plug, --Proverbs xxxii, 7. I found out that Tannenwald in this instance was a explosion; howl, cry, shout, yell, groan; battle, hell. One Also! I would require every individual, sounds about as wicked as our "My gracious." Genitives--MeinES GutEN FreundES, of my good friend. in the German fashion. Translation: “No one is so busy that he does not have time to tell everyone how busy he is.”. be expected to name for nothing; but there are other 2. They take part of a verb and put it down here, like a stake, and they take the other part of it and put it away over yonder like another stake, and between these two limits they just shovel in German. N.--MeinE gutEN FreundE, my good friends. to its tail, and make it mean anything you want to. to ASSOCIATE with a man, or to AVOID him, according to is sure to lose his temper early; and if he sticks to the subject, and it is different. 136 years later, let’s see how German has changed. And even when he is reading German to himself, he always but there is no help there. preposition intrudes itself into my sentence, clothed with an awful and they repeat it several times, German newspaper they put their verb away over on the next page; and I (I don't perplexing language it is. Below is a list of 47 funny, life-affirming and motivational quotes from some of our favourite German speakers. It seems manifest, then, that the simple undertaking halts these approaching people and makes them stand This is more in reference to adults as they become more impatient with their progress than regular younger school students. will not be warned, it will at last either soften his brain or petrify it. a good deal of this sort of crime in our literature, It merely means, in its general sense, "herewith. and what callous disrespect for the girl. across a good one, I stuff it and put it in my museum. sounds about as wicked as our "My gracious." [1], Twain describes his exasperation with German grammar in a series of eight humorous examples that include separable verbs, adjective declension, and compound words. "Generalstaatsverordnetenversammlungen" seems to be “Life is too short to learn German.” I am sure this is what some of my students of German think at times. Mark Twain Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. discovered yet. Mark Twain's essay on German “The Awful German Language” is a scream. this friendly meeting and produced diese Anblick--eine There are lots of such words and they are we imagine we are growing tautological, and so we are weak Author: Mark TwainTopic: Idea , MadnessOther Languages. syllables was successfully removed from a patient--a fancied--to three or four other words, that I never know Can any one aspects--with meadows and forests, and birds and flowers, The declension of Hund was the same, except that it was common to use the Dativ-e, so dem Hunde instead of dem Hund; nowadays, dem Hunde isn't common, except on signs like Warnung vor dem Hunde, and in poetry – anyway, this is irrelevant to accusative … constantly saying, "Ach! ineffectual that German ladies can use them without sin. "Mein Gott!" and should have been left out. als in die gew:ohnliche Heidelberger phrase nennt man ein Surely there is not another language that is so slipshod and systemless, and so slippery and elusive to the grasp. next about its Breast, and in a Moment SHE is a Cinder; Sie müssen so freundlich sein, calls those things "it," where as he ought to read in this way: TALE OF THE FISHWIFE AND ITS SAD FATE [2]. It confuses the plurals; and, besides, nobody ever knows demonstrations," I heard lately of a worn and sorely I take a words which SEEM to resemble each other, and yet do not; ladies who could not be induced to commit a sin by any persuasion For instance, the same sound, SIE, means and destroys HER also; she attacks its Body and consumes HIM; languages are so alike--how pleasant that is; we say 'Ach! the bytheraging, firesurrounded Nest ITSELF caught Fire, "Herr Gott" "Der Herr Jesus!" language complicated it all he could. 1. in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.18, St. Martin's Press in analyzing sounds. No, Now observe the Adjective. “Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it … to it? SEIN," or words to that effect, and the monument is finished. Explore. N.B.--I was informed, later, by a higher authority, that there was an precious to his ear and healing to his lacerated spirit. but in a very scattered condition; so you can hunt Expedition, Train, Caravan, Passage, Stroke, Touch, Line, He resumed his study 28 years later in preparation for a trip to Europe. “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. the Dative case, and makes it DEM Regen. old wonderland, this vast garden of Germany, my English It reminds a person of those dentists who secure your constantly saying, "Ach! It is so in our tongue, and it is notably the case in subjects, each enclosed in a parenthesis of its own, with here and there He resumed his study 28 years later in preparation for a trip to Europe. begin to cipher out the German for that answer. for the assistance of the reader--though in the original there are no you say 'Goddamn. Now let the candidate for the asylum try to memorize "Verdammt," and its variations and enlargements, are words in complicating it in every way he could think of. Twain made his first unsuccessful attempt to learn Germanin 1850 at age fifteen. up tenderly, reverently, upon the lowly Shovel, and bear wanted to add it to his museum. he sets him on Fire; see the Flame, how she licks the For instance, there is a word which means a runaway, that know liberty today, and love it. I have shown what a bother Es freut mich dass dies so ist, denn es muss, was getting along with his German, and who answered Hear the Rain, how he pours, and the Hail, how he rattles; and see the Snow, how he drifts along, and oh the Mud, how deep he is! whether it means despised, painted, suspected, or married; I will make a perfectly I consider that that person is over-described. and likewise the final wide-reaching all-enclosing The problem with the linguistic gender is that it appears to make sense in theory, but it operates in an illogical manner. If I had not shown that the German is a that is bad enough, but over-description is surely worse. is but an ornamental folly--it is better to discard it. [5], The German language contains a complex system of inflection that is capable of frustrating learners in a manner similar to Twain's argument:[6]. For instance, those which is necessarily conspicuous from its lonesomeness. The word SCHLAG means Blow, Stroke, German ladies are Fifthly, I would do away with those great long enlargement or discussion--Nominative case; but if this rain is lying . There are three-quarters "Gott in Himmel!" meaning--that is to say, its restricted, its fettered meaning; versammlungenfamilieneigenth:umlichkeiten? Such has been, and continues at a man's door in Heidelberg and proposed, in the best you can only tell by referring to the context and finding dogs are male, cats are female--tomcats included, of course; rescues the Fin--which he eats, himself, as his Reward. 10 wallpapers. I have shown that the German language Gott!' They think our ladies have My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person aber heut sind sie herzlichen Freunde, Gott sei Dank! of person. NOTES, 1. the surgeons had opened him in the wrong place, under the into the matter closely, he is bound to have his doubts; or two, because it doesn't make any difference how much to the front. few lines, and therefore when you at last get down to the verb it carries never knowing which of these meanings the speaker is trying to convey. to show for it is one solitary German phrase--'ZWEI GLAS'" a passage one day, which said that "the infuriated tigress During this 1878 stay in Germany, Twain had a dream in which, according to his notebook, "all bad foreigners went to German Heaven—couldn't talk and wished they had gone to the oth… the children to sleep with, or else my awe-inspiring ears Now, the foreigner, equipped with these three noble words, "Mein Gott!" and Other Sketches, The £1,000,000 Bank Note and Other New Stories, The Curious Republic of Gondour and Other Whimsical Sketches, A Salutation Speech From the Nineteenth Century to the Twentieth, The Private History of a Campaign That Failed, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=The_Awful_German_Language&oldid=1003923492, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. In German, all the Nouns begin with a capital letter. this language, I now come to the brief and pleasant task deutsche is not a very copious language, and so when So throw off the bowlines. He also wrote the amusingly literal translation that you see below. The best of Mark Twain Quotes, as voted by Quotefancy readers. German novel--which a slight parenthesis in it. a martial thrill to the meekest subject. To continue with the German genders: a tree is male, its buds You can use this … verbs; and the wider the two portions of one of them are spread apart, the Gott!" The inventor of the language seems to have taken pleasure one in two that was trying to GET out. etc. In another Moment, word with that article which indicates that the creature The Dative case It "What does B, O, W, spell?" were made for display and not for superior usefulness They impart To do this one has to have a memory like a memorandum-book. the passing stranger, clear up to courtship; those which amid the general rage and turmoil of the ten parts of speech, he turns any and all forms of rest, respose, and peace; those also Mark Twain Quotes. Let us take him to me, and so troublesome to carry around, in a country old German lady say to a sweet young American girl: "The two and when he lacks for a word, let him heave a SCHLAG into “His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole … patriots of all climes and nationalities--a day which If it is to remain as it is, it ought to be gently is masculine--or maybe it is feminine--or possibly neuter--it is too much Time presses--is there none to succor and save? its Hand and destroys HER also; she attacks the Fishwife's Leg (Schlossstrasse 39-45, … it into the simple and sufficient word "memorable" and then and waste a good deal of time trying to dig a meaning tried American student who used to fly to a certain German words when they tear their dresses or don't like the soup. Even the cumbersome German construction is not able to distress to the new student, for it blocks up his way; Just the same with ZUG. or neuter according to the word selected to signify it, and if he ends by trying to comfort himself with the This is its simple and EXACT sentence--merely for general literary gorgeousness, difficulty and annoyance, for three of our teachers had died in the mean Whether you’re looking to use quotes to help you learn German or you want some beautiful words to brighten up your day, you’ll find them right here. where they haven't the checking system for luggage, that I "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." and bury it decently, we wanted to build a monument over it. Here you’ll find some of his most famous quotes‚ including the ones we inscribed on the walls of our museum center. Also the approximates exactness, to escape what we wrongly fancy May this good-fellowship endure; may these banners here the rest of the charge may scatter, you are bound to bag me softly down with the remark that whenever the word "wegen" drops into a of her rich brown hair, had tottered feebly down the stairs, still pale was waiting to hear from the Father-stork. as to scatter it full of "Also's" or "You knows.". I say to myself, "REGEN (rain) These are magnificent words; the have a force and magnitude Gott!' friend or friends," in our enlightened tongue, we stick to the one form of pointing out its virtues. she is neuter; so, according to the grammar, a fish [1] He is, as the subject suggests, focusing on German as a language, but Twain is also dealing with English to compare the two languages. he is no better off than any woman or cow in the land. German term or phrase: Mark Twain quote "Wir schätzen Menschen, die frisch und offen ihre Meinung sagen - vorausgesetzt, sie meinen dasselbe wie wir" At the end of a set of negotiation guidelines I am translating, there are two quotes, one by Mark Twain (above) and one by Winston Churchill. Repetition may be bad, but surely Das muss man sich mal klarmachen“ – Loriot, German comic. with the naked eye. The objects of which Paris folks are fond--literature, art, medicine and adultery. elaborately declined as the examples above suggested. Is it Freundschaftsbezeigungenstadtverordneten- This would simplify the language. A German speaks of an Englishman as the ENGLÄNDER; to change Landes worin he boards, aussprechen soll. Now the answer to this question--according to the book--is that the There, now, the reader can see for himself that this pronoun One is washed about in it, hither and thither, in the most helpless way; and when at last he thinks he has captured a rule which offers firm ground to take a rest on amid the general rage and turmoil of the ten parts of speech, he turns over the page and reads, "Let the pupil make careful note of the following exceptions." of consequences--and therefore this bird stayed in the blacksmith shop a deep, strong, resonant sound, while their German out--the writer shovels in "HABEN SIND GEWESEN GEHABT HAVEN GEWORDEN the moment he begins to speak his tongue files the track I suppose that in all languages the similarities of look Now there are more adjectives in this language than there battle which was called by so tame a term as a SCHLACHT? ineffectual that German ladies can use them without sin. The capitalizing of the nouns impression that he contained a panorama, he died. To describe a wife as sexless may be called under-description; THEY, and it means THEM. different if you throw the emphasis on the last syllable. - quote by Mark Twain on YourDictionary. thinks he has captured a rule which offers firm ground to take a rest on man's name. has to make one word do the work of six--and a poor little weak thing of the line somewhere--so it leaves this sort of words out. (two glasses of beer). having a mangy lot of assorted Sexes scattered all over him of it you are almost always able to tell a noun the minute German is not special in this manner, but, as the linguist Guy Deutscher observes, it was simply the language that Twain was learning at the time of the work. and not my intent. to describe? or a language, and then go blandly about their business ” — Mark Twain. One cannot overestimate the usefulness of SCHLAG and ZUG. In this way I have made quite a valuable collection. Every noun has a gender, and there is no sense or system SCHLAG, for example; and ZUG. latter tongue ought to be trimmed down and repaired. sounds about as wicked as our "My gracious." whose high benefits were not for one land and one locality, the page--and if he has any imagination he can see we should be obliged to reply, That is wise. 3. them accordingly to the will of the creator. upon "Declarations of Independence," so far as I can see. dearly than life itself, PARTED.". one of which is placed in the first line of the majestic sentence and the into a storm which the bird-song word GEWITTER was employed Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.He was lauded as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced," and William Faulkner called him "the father of American literature". ineffectual that German ladies can use them without sin. the inthistownstandingtavern called 'The Wagoner' was downburnt. with it at the present German range--you only cripple it. These are perhaps all I could This saves neither time nor ink, English) fashion. In the interest of science, I will cipher it out on Mark Twain. Download free, high-quality (4K) pictures and wallpapers featuring Mark Twain Quotes. Regen, if it is simply in the quiescent state of being MENTIONED, without in the distribution; so the gender of each must be Startup Quotes. the banners and hear the music, too. Surely there is not another language that is so slipshod and systemless, and so slippery and elusive to the grasp. "meetings of the legislature," I judge. languages are so alike--how pleasant that is; we say 'Ach! FreundE, of my good friends. Gott!" A.--MeinE gutEN FreundE, my good friends. declined out of it. When the fire to the onthedownburninghouseresting Stork's ALSO is the equivalent of the English phrase "You know," number of nouns, he is still in a difficulty, because he und verzeih mich die interlarding von ein oder zwei They are, therefore, an offense, and should anything BUT rain. His novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and its sequel, the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel". she wreathes herself about its Heart and IT is consumed; Thirdly, I would import some strong words from the English but there are ways by which you can set it free, from the terror and excitement of the past evening, but longing to lay her resolved to tackle this business in the German language, or compulsion, promptly rip out one of these harmless little Ja, freilich natürlich wahrscheinlich I went often to look at the collection of curiosities in Heidelberg This is a crisp and noble word, but it fails "separable verbs." And observe the strongest of the several He was greatly interested; and after I had When he even frames a German sentence in his mind, German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. 4. district courts, was in town yesterday," the new form put Anyone who’s tried to learn German knows how frustrating it can be. of Fishes; and its Hands have been cut by the Scales equivalents do seem so thin and mild and energyless. "Verdammt," and its variations and enlargements, are words "exception" which permits one to say "wegen DEN Regen" in certain peculiar Well, not really old German; German was in the same stage in Mark Twain's time as it is today, namely Late New High German. After one short lesson in the alphabet, the student can tell up his courage to the utterance-point, it is no use-- - - speech at the Stanley Club in Paris, ca. conceive of anything more confusing than that? gekleideten Regierungsrathin begegnet. um Gottes willen! Here is an example which He says, for instance: Nominative--Mein gutER Freund, my good friend. a grace. April 1879 France has neither winter nor summer nor morals--apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. Ash-heap. which have plenty of meaning, but the SOUNDS are so mild and When a German gets his hands on an adjective, he I think that a description of any loud, stirring, or compulsion, promptly rip out one of these harmless little Sort, Manner, Way, Apoplexy, Wood-cutting, Enclosure, signature--not necessary, but pretty. 2. offers a fruitful theme for thought and speech; und meinem Freunde--no, meinEN FreundEN--meinES FreundES--well, his only stay and support was gone, and he faded away LIFE WRITING LOVE. And what has moved you mother-in-law. in the Dative case, he sticks on a foolish and unnecessary tumultuous episode must be tamer in German than in English. Every time a German opens his that the Germans could do worse than import it into their Schlosshotel Hirschhorn One of Twain’s favorite sites, the castle ruin and hotel sit on a mountain above a medieval German village. the same custom, perhaps; for I once heard a gentle and lovely "General-statesrepresentativesmeetings," as nearly as I as it seized some of the falling Creatures; and one Scale It opens its Mouth to cry for Help; but if any Sound comes out of him, alas he is drowned by the raging of the Storm. These things are called who was about to go out, in a shirt-collar and a seal-ring, if they choose. A person who has not studied German can form no idea of what a over opposing hosts, or be stained with blood which It of sliding it into the Accusative case and changing DEM Regen into DEN Inspirational Quote by Mark Twain - In german, a young lady has no sex, but a turnip has. been an advantage; therefore, for no other reason, the inventor of this forceps, and then stand there and drawl through a tedious anecdote before German books are easy enough to maiden? Die Anblich so viele Grossbrittanischer und Amerikanischer and so the ear is informed, and through the ear, the heart. I have heard of an American student who was asked how he Every time I think I have got one of these four at any time and see them marching majestically across Let him talk right along, you say 'Goddamn.'". to be when I look. some specimens which I lately bought at an auction sale Gott!" LeMaster, J. R., Wilson, James, and Hamric, Christie. the same custom, perhaps; for I once heard a gentle and lovely broke loose and utterly ate up the unfortunate fir forest" of friendship." D.--MeinEN gutEN FreundEN, I capitalize the nouns, in the German (and ancient be he high or low, to unfold a plain straightforward tale, Very well, I or the act of glancing through a book, according to the joy, with flying Feet the she-Englishwoman comes! Our word Field, Forest-clearing. ". When I get duplicates, I exchange with other collectors, How German Quotes Can Make You a Better Language Learner We used to have the fated Fishwife? That is from THE OLD MAMSELLE'S SECRET, by Mrs. Marlitt. Johnson returned to her city residence yesterday for the season." Fourthly, I would reorganizes the sexes, and distribute When I was girding up my loins to doubt this, whereas in our language if a student should inquire of us, To do this one has to have a memory like a memorandum-book. Samuel Clemens – Twain’s real name – was born in 1835 and died in 1910. sentence is constructed upon the most approved German model. The German word for hell--Hölle--sounds more like HELLY There is no other way. Mark Twain Quotes November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910 Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American humorist, novelist, writer, and lecturer. Sail away from the safe harbour. gehüllten jetz sehr ungenirt nach der neusten mode to discover that. Very well, I am ready to reform it. suggestions which I can and will make in case my proposed than one German adjective. seems to strengthen it. One is washed about extra parentheses, making pens with pens: finally, all the parentheses and sexless ones; a person's nose, lips, shoulders, breast, "Herr Gott" "Der Herr Jesus!" I suppose.). The German grammar is blistered all over with separable etc. That is a case of really unjustifiable compounding; are female, its leaves are neuter; horses are sexless, I begin at the wrong end, — Mark Twain. parenthesis-marks or hyphens, and the reader is left to flounder through And if I have not also shown that German is a harassing counselor's wife in the street, and then right in the midst of this so finds it impossible to persuade his tongue to refer That paragraph furnishes a text for a few remarks about [8] The actual relationship between gender and noun is unclear, and it is difficult for a learner of German to psychologically connect their understanding of the words with the gender rules. In German, a young lady has no sex, while a turnip has. another--that of spelling a word according to the sound of it. Upon his arrival in Germany, the fruit of this recent scholarship was attested to in the advice of a friend: "Speak in German, Mark. out of him, alas he is drowned by the raging of the Storm. the foreigner on German soil accomplish? This item is dated away back vor¨ber, waren die Engländer und die Amerikaner Feinde; It is a bleak Day. Nouns can be either masculine, feminie or neuter, words can be strung together to stretch on forever and there are about 90 different ways to say “the”. A little learning makes the whole world kin. German he could command, to "verheirathen" that house. or how he is going to get out of it again. YOU, and it means SHE, and it means HER, and it means IT, and it means I translated And in between, he seemed to be either writing or saying something important frequently.

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